#dont fart while doing the do

[prettyboyeddiemunson]

my vampire eddie sim won’t stop farting omf what is his problem

[phlegm--princess]

june pre transition going through alot of denial and internalized transphobia (esp on the meteor where she has a lot of time to herself) but eventually coming to terms with herself and transitioning with the help of jade. and shes like very self concious about herself at first cuz the transphobia and fear are still internalized. later she gets much more comfortable with herself and jade and gets the courage to be more out with people But shes faced with a lot of the same transphobia she worked so hard to deconstruct in her mind and her identity becomes a topic of debate ridiculously often when shes just trying to like. be around people in public or whatever. so shes just like. <_<

[fridgedeeznuts]

thinking abt this video im watching between two artists chatting and how at some point the painting part of painting becomes the easiest part of painting, and most of the work is actually about the preparation of the piece, and anything else that is more work during the piece is shit that u forgot to cover in ur prep work,,,,

[angelfoodscake]

WERE GOING TO THE ANCIENT CITY TONIGHT FELLAS 💯🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🎉🎉🎉🔥🔥🔥🎉💯💯💯💯💯🔥

[orcelito]

Tally keeps stink bombing me as she comes up to say hi. And every time, it's like a punch in the nose. How can such a big stink come from something so little...

And just now, I was was fanning my hand to try to dissipate it faster and I slapped my glasses down on my nose 😭😭 owie 😭😭😭

[pretty-pink-seaslug]

Korean stomachs are built SO different good god

[kimchichaehi]

G!p Huh Yunjin x reader

Summary -> your bestest friend in the whole wide world whom you’ve known since middle school is such a perv but you’re alright with that

Warnings -> sex, perv jen, cursing, slight somnophillia

Notes -> IDK I USED UP ALL OF MY THINKING JUICE ON THIS.

“Cmon baby….wake up” your best friend Huh Yunjin whined as she kissed and nipped at your neck

“Please baby, i need you..” Yunjin whined while one of her hands slipped under your white camisole and she softly rutted against your thigh

“so soft..” she mumbled while her hand pushed your shirt up “love that you don’t sleep with a bra on, gives me more access to you..” she smiled

Her hands groped at your tits “just touchin’ you gets me hard”

“Jennie..?”you mumbled sleepily “what are you doing..? You muttered, referring to her who was rutting against your thigh

“M’sorry baby i just really need you right now, you don’t mind if i fuck you, hm?”

You knew you shouldn’t have let your best-friend stay the night its like without fail every time she stays the night she always needs to fuck you in the morning

“Sh..Shit..! y’feel so fucking good” Yunjin whined, her pretty cock pounding into your cunt, her hands on your hips, holding you down

“Jen..!” You whined as she leaned down to kiss your neck, your arms instinctively wrapping around her neck

“So fuckin’ tight for me aren’t you?” She smiled into your neck “maybe ill put a baby in you, yeah?” Her grip on your hips tightened “probably like that, wouldn’t you? You’d just love for your best fucking friend to get you pregnant.”

She laughed softly due to you softly shaking your head “so cute, can’t even say anything.” Her hand trailed down to your puffy clit, she rubbed soft circles into it as she sped up

Your moans and whimpers echoed throughout her eardrums, as if they were the only thing her ears would pick up on, well that and the soft wet squelching sound coming from your pussy gettin pounded

“F..Fuck…” she whimpered

“m’gonna cum, y’dont mind if i cum inside you yeah? Of course you dont, you’re already fuckin’ braindead, s’fine thats how i like you.”

Abrupt ending bc i had a brain fart😒

[sturnsmadl]

loverboy!chris headcannons!

loverboy!chris who built up the courage to slide in your dm's finally.

loverboy!chris who talked to you almost everyday.

"how are you?" "im filming tommorow." "u won't believe what i saw."

loverboy!chris who cut off every girl to focus on you.

loverboy!chris who always mentions flying you out.

"come onnnn. let me fly you out." "ill fly you out."

loverboy!chris who wants you to model for his brand.

"you tryna model?"

"dude i dont know how to model."

"so? you can try for me :)"

loverboy!chris who is always wanting to facetime.

"you tryna call?" "hop on facetime." "you awake?"

loverboy!chris who constantly talks about you to his brothers.

"and shes so fucking pretty."

"tell her that."

"can u shut the fuck up?"

loverboy!chris who really wants to meet you.

"you coming la anytime soon?"

"chris we spoke about this literally yesterday."

"pleaseeee?"

loverboy!chris who texts you like he's your boyfriend.

"good morning." "night babe." "you busy?"

loverboy!chris who makes sure your okay all the time.

"you okay? you looked really upset on ft last night."

"i was just tired :) thank you though."

"okay. you can always talk to me."

loverboy!chris who tells you everything.

"i literally just burped on matt."

"oh?"

"yeah."

loverboy!chris who finally flies you out to him.

"pack your bags ;)"

"omg. chris why did u do that?"

"i need to meet you."

loverboy!chris who gets really happy around you.

loverboy!chris who waited until you met to ask you to be his.

"can i be your boyfriend?"

"oh my- yes. yes.."

loverboy!chris who gets caught cuddling you on your first day meeting.

"shhh...shes sleeping."

"you met a few hours ago."

loverboy!chris who makes sure your ready for any advances.

"you sure?"

"yes chris just kiss me."

loverboy!chris who can't help himself and kisses you a lot more.

loverboy!chris who refuses to be away from you.

"where are you going?"

"to wash my hands.."

"ill come."

loverboy!chris who teaches you at top golf.

loverboy!chris who is so excited when he goes down on you.

"i've been waiting so long to do this."

"fuck..chris."

loverboy!chris who loves everything about you.

loverboy!chris who becomes very confident with you.

"i gotta fart."

"chris!"

loverboy!chris who showers with you to stay near you.

"want me to do your shampoo?"

"you could back up a bit."

"declined."

loverboy!chris who buys you everything you show interest in.

loverboy!chris who kisses your head while you sleep in his arms.

loverboy!chris who loves not sleeping alone.#

"i love that i get to hug you all night."

"its too hot to have you wrapped around me like a koala."

"thats just rude."

loverboy!chris who buys you stuffed animals that remind him of you.

loverboy!chris who sleeps on top of you.

"chris. wake up."

"what?"

"get off i need the bathroom."

"noooo"

loverboy!chris who leaves way too many marks.

"chris..i can't fucking cover them.."

"guess you'll have to show em off then huh?"

loverboy!chris who also loves pissing you off.

loverboy!chris who doesn't let you go bed mad at him.

"nuh uh. were not doing this. im sorry okay? whats wrong?"

loverboy!chris who cries when you find out your pregnant.

"your kidding.."

"no..are you happy..?"

"oh my god..yes.."

loverboy!chris who overbuys for the baby.

loverboy!chris who makes sure you know he's there at the birth.

"im here baby.. your doing so good."

loverboy!chris who takes a picture of him crying holding the baby when its first born.

loverboy!chris who treats his baby like glass.

"nick! careful."

"dude what..? i was just looking..jeez"

loverboy!chris who is so proud showing his brothers.

"look at my baby.."

"hes adorable chris."

"well done buddy."

loverboy!chris who makes sure your okay and provided for.

"you need any water? any food?"

"no im okay thank you.."

"a hug? i mean look what you just did. gave me a child. ur amazing."

a/n- these r quite far apart events!! this is also awful cause i rushed it smmmm!! i have so much school work to do :(

taglist! @bellaonthelow @muchloveforhacker @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @xoxo4chriss @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @mattstrombolii

[gassydumbjocks]

Do it like a Macho

Joel finished putting on his favorite shirt to go out, and checked his chat again, he could hardly believe that he had agreed to go out with that guy his best friend had told him about, he had broken up with his ex months ago, and didn't seem to feel ready to take on another relationship, but, well, a date was better than staying depressed on his couch all afternoon eating junk food watching rom-coms.

He finished by adding his perfume, checking himself once again in the mirror, and sighing "Please dont be a jerk this time" he wished for his next date, when the bell ring got him out of trance.

He ran when he heard the doorbell, and to his great surprise, a tall boy, with a some-what tanned skin, clearly showing latino roots, beefy complexion, large muscles, showed out of his door. There was only one detail, the hunk boy was shirtless, only wearing some gym shorts, and if that wasnt enough, a slight stench was present almost immediately, making obvious it came from the big jock, Joel wrinkled his nose a little trying to be discreet.

"Ehh.. Hello, can I help you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, the jock frowned. "Are you Joel?" He limited himself to ask.

"Yes, uh, are you the boy with whom I had a dat..." his words were interrupted as the animal of a man simply proceed and grabbed him by his head, within a second, he had his head to remain below in one of his armpits, receiving directly that aroma he lingered before, making him cough on the manly scent.

"Shut up! Faggot!" Saul said with an expression of disgust, without any effort he grabbed Joel's shirt collar while he tried to gasp for some air "I don't go to dates with sissys like you! I only hang out with my bros" he told him furiously. "This should put some hair on that chest of yours" Not having time to react quickly, the stinky hunk let out a deep, nasty burp right in his face.

BOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPP!!!

"Now lets start... Real men don't cook, that's for the ladies" the jock said as he blew the remains of his burp towards the poor, scrawny nerd.

As Joel forcibly inhaled Saul's putrid smoke, his brain began to be penetrated by the stench, new memories being created that would replace everything that made Joel him, memories of his mother teaching him how to cook and take care of himself, became in memories of his mother cooking for him, his father and brothers.

"Ugh, God... That's disgusting" Joel swallowed the burp while trying not to vomit while gagging.

"Come on man, you have to get out the machismo inside you... Real men don't clean, we are made to be crude, and ought to be grotty" Saul raised a leg and squinted an eye, before grunting.

PPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTT!!!

After letting out a loud fart that rumbled through his shorts, with a quick maneuver Saul brought Joel closer to his butt, being greeted by the toxic smell emanating from it, Joel swore it would be enough to knock out an elephant, coughing violently.

Again, his mind felt blurred, his thoughts changing with more memories again, since he was a child, the nerdy boy had always been a clean freak, tidying his room and cooperating with his sisters to clean the whole house. now, for some reason he could only remember him and his brothers watching soccer games in their undies, dirty plates of food filling the kitchen sink, dirty clothes scattered throughout the all the house, the toilet bowl up and dirty.

"What's going on?" Joel said, now more dizzy and confused than ever, his nausea preventing him from reasoning clearly and making a superhuman effort not to smell that foul bomb.

"You're becoming a man, that's happening, you better brace your pathetic self, this is a damn combo" Saul warned, then his stomach growled fiercely, while a smirk appeared in his mouth.

"NO!" Joel pleaded, but it was too late, as his please were overshadowed by Saul bending down to be at his height, only to blurt out in his face "MAAAAN UUUUUUUPPP-UUURRRRRRP!!!!" He belched his words out, while forcing the weak gay boy to sniff the nauseating blast.

By that point Joel had already fallen to the ground, crying and suffocating, pleading that this was some kind of nightmare, Saul rolled his eyes and growled "What a fuckin baby, it's just a little man gas, what are you?! Uh? You're a guy, you should be proud... Real men always let the gas rip" he said. , before bending over again, putting his big ass in those smelly shorts scented with all those gases dangerously close to his face, to let one last fart finish his job, poor Joel just having a final view of the ass getting closer "NOOOOOO!!..."

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT!!!

...

"And he is right..." was the first thought that Joel had after the abrupt attack in that gas chamber "Men always let it rip... A Man loves to let it rip, its just a dude thing we have to assert our dominance" was what came out then of his lips, before Saul heard and turned to see him, and a huge smile of satisfaction formed on his face.

"Fuck yeah man, nothing like dropping a fat one with your bros for a good laugh, right? We guys should always think farts are funny, they're manly" he remarked.

And as if it was a cue, a growl in Joel's stomach began to growl and make him uncomfortable, he simply patted himself and raised his leg.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRTTTT!!!

"ahh, that felt good" he sighed and letted a dumb chuckle "i have to quit that chipotle next time" he said with a grin, and Saul hit his shoulder playfully.

"haha that's nothing bro, the burping contest we had on our boys' night was brutal, man, you can even belch out the alphabet like a maestro, eh? Show off those roars" Saul added with a huge smile.

"AHHH.. BEHHH... CEEHH.. DEEEHHH" His mind was blank now, a simple order like that was enough to control him and make the burps start to come out of him, even when he didn't feel the need to burp, he just wanted to show off with his bro... It is what real men do.

"That felt good" He said, with a stupid grin forming in his lips too.

"As it should be! You gotta take pride in your machismo, huh? Machote" He said before slapping hiss ass, causing a small but putrid fart to come out of his now plump ass, making both of them laugh. "damn yeah, bro, its fuckin great to be a man" Joel said and Saul nodded proudly.

With that putrid gas, Joel sealed his new persona, letting his old gay and scrawny being fly away in the form of that smelly fart, to become a dumber, grosser, sexist, loud, and obnoxious version of him, a real man, and a real macho.

Seconds later he got a text from his best friend, or his best bro, and read it "Broo, hurry up and bring your fuckin ass here, we gotta have a boys night and watch the game, bring the beer, haven't Saul picked you up yet?"

He smirked and responded "On our way brodah, don't nuke your room too soon, I want to breath some fresh air for the match" He joked and chuckled dumbly, as he squinted one eye and simply lifted his leg to rip a fat deep one before going out his place, fist bumping with Saul.

[hiimnothere1]

Hi, Im Not Here

This page is a place for my fun little thoughts that are completely degenerate. While I dont mind "playing" with you, I do NOT intend on being anyone's long term dom nor emotional support.

This page does not exist. It is all a part of your imagination. Wake up, crazy!

Secondary account with less developed thoughts: @hiimnothere2

Give a little bit of effort in your DMs. If you need a rubric like in grade school, here:

-More than 10 words

-What do you like about my blog?

-What are you looking for?

More info in the cut!

Stuff to know:

-Smart people give me butterflies

-I WILL stalk your page

-DMs are open, but don't expect much. I may be silly goofy there or try to tease you. Shoot a message! I don't bite

-I am in the US

-Sagittarius

-I am 5'5 and Asian

-The posts here are a fantasy and do NOT represent me

-I really like subs that are taller and have deep voices

-I'm a sucker for hips

-Although anon asks are great, don't be a coward. I wanna stalk your page too

-If you wanna throw money at me for no reason, here: $Altyn6

Limits:

Farts/Scat

Necro

Although this is pretty much it, that DOES NOT mean I find everything else hot. I either dislike it or tolerate it.

[fartlvrr]

dad calls me over, he’s laying naked on the couch, his hard cock in his hand. he plays with his balls too. he glares at me as i walk over to him, stroking his cock. “welcome home, toilet” he says. “get on your knees,” he says, then he spits in my face. “im so happy to see my little girl, i have so much saved up for you.” i look at him with big scared doe eyes. “ple-“ he cuts me off immediately. “dont beg and plead baby, i’ll give it to you without all that.” i feel so misunderstood and humiliated. i know what’s coming. he gets up and kneels on the couch and tells me to get in my place. i put my head back against the couch between his legs while he kneels over my head, his balls hanging right over my nose. he leans down and attaches a leash to my collar. i could smell his musky balls and taste the bit of sweat on them too. i look up and see his asshole pushing out. i get squirmy as i watch him push, then a loud fart comes out sputtering between his cheeks. the smell hits me immediately as i turn my head and cough, i’ll somehow never get used to it. he commands me to get my head back in place and I do, “take a deep breath, loud enough for me to hear you. fuckin goooood toilet,” he says while he groans and holds his belly. more farts start to sputter out and he moans in relief while I breathe in loud enough for him to hear, coughing and gagging. a really long, loud, wet fart comes out and he laughs as I try to catch my breath. “tell me how much you love it baby” he says, almost begging while he strokes his cock and thrusts into his hand. “i love breathing you in daddy” i said, almost whining. “fuck, oh fuck here it comes baby” he pushes out loud explosive farts into my face and I can tell something worse is coming. he pulls my leash up and sits down on my face while he lets out so much gas he must have held in for hours. i felt the farts vibrate on my face. then he sits up and is straining and pushing out his asshole. i figure he must still have to fart, somehow. then as he pushes, he starts pissing all over me while he jerks off. as he lets his piss out, a thick solid log of shit starts to peak out of his asshole. i sigh and whine “please daddy, not today I just got home!!” and he just scoffs at me. “shut the fuck up, toilet. do your job.” he starts pushing more and the shit slowly starts to move out of his asshole. i watch in horror as the thick long stick of shit moves down towards my face. “mmmmm fuck baby, god its all coming out finally. i held it in all fucking day for you mmmm god baby fuck, good toilet” he says while moaning. the thick log makes its way down and finally hits my cheek with a thud as it lands on the couch next to my head. he poops out a few extra small pieces and a few loud farts burst out as he finishes. finally he says “oh fuck, im gonna cum baby fuck” as he finally shoots his load out onto my body while a few extra farts escape his asshole. “thank you daddy, thank you” I repeat over and over as he shoots his cum on my body while I smell the shit surrounding my head.

[ganondoodle]

since i have seen this argument pop up again and again and now its used to defend the minecraft movie

i really hate the argument that something, be it a movie or a game, can be as shitty as it wants when its primarily aimed at kids (or people THINK it is aimed mostly at kids) bc its 'just for kids'

like children are lesser an stupid? like they arent incredibly impressionable and deserve good movies? im not saying they should only watch critical acclaimed drama movies, but you can make a movie 'for kids' AND make it good, its been done before, sure there will always be shit movies, and thats fine, but dismissing any kind of criticism towards them bc "its just for kids" feels so unecessarily mean spirited towards children, like they are little people in wildly different stages of development!! they can think too!!

'kids' itself is such a wide range that i feel its not very useful as a category anyway, a 5 year old isnt the same as an 11 year old, both of them should get good things, and both can watch or play things they may not completely understand yet! i grew up with shrek, and while a big parody and haha fart humor movie, they (1+2) have an incredibly strong core, i didnt udnerstand them fully when i was little, so what? i still enjoyed them, i felt more connected to them than any disney movie (bc hey .. the monster is the main guy and no they dont all turn into conventionally pretty humans as the ultimate reward- i felt othered throughout my life too) and i still do, theres jokes and themes and meaning i understood fully only when i was rewatching them as an adult, i still enjoy them even at 27

and like, shouldnt it ESPECIALLY matter what children watch? (not in the puritan brain worm way) bc they are ... people in development?? do you think if they just sit down and watch shitty movies and play games that dont challenge them at all, be it thinking critically or emotionally, all day it wont have an affect on them??

(im sorry to bring up totk again, but that 'its for kids' argument has been used to defend it so much too, and its so incredibly annoying to me, ah yes, its puzzles are all skippable or easy as shit bc its main target are kids and children are stupid and shouldnt be challenged ever, the story is a simple fairytale type deal maybe to you, but contains alot of harmful stereotypes that have led to real world harm and its repeated unquestionably while offering nothing intersting to think or engage with, theres a reason alot of childrens media contains alot of stereotypes to propaganda even but its just for kids of course its not propaganda bc kids are stupid and cant understand that lol BECAUSE they are so impressionable, if a series 'for kids' only lets the girls be in frilly pink dresses and do 'girly' stuff do you not think that wil affect how they think about themselves??

if they keep seeing the light skinned blonde heroe stab the unquestioned evil arab stereotype bc he wants to take over your holy land bc hes just 'evil' and is never ever humanized in any way and only presented as a monster, while the good little maiden princess does everything she can to support her hero in shiny armor with big sad doe eyes and pretty little white dress- do you not think it will affect them? if it were an isolated incidence perhaps not much, but its a stereotype perpetuated to such a degree that you think its just 'how fairytales go'? yeah, you have been influenced by these portrayals, they are working as intented- and if they are used as such in media without the writer intending to influence you that way? thats even worse bc it means it has been so normalized to think that way people dont even realize it- while alot of real people in the world are ganondorf, they are demonized and dehumanized, others think of them as inherently evil.. but its just a "simple fairytale"

yes i know children can also question things on their own, but you shouldnt assume that comes naturally and then also in just the correct way, i questioned why i was just doing whatever the talking boat told me to do when i first played windwaker as a kid, but more bc i liked how ganondorf looked and hated being told things to do without a good reason being given (autism much?), 'evil' didnt do it for me, but that doesnt mean i knew he was an evil arab stereotype, i didnt like tetra turning white as zelda, bc i thought she looked cooler before and i didnt like 'girly' things myself, not bc i knew it was whitewashing

-not saying media should be free of anything 'problematic', the problem is how its presented and never questioned or engaged with critically and then that stupid argument being used to dismiss it like children are both unable to think and not influencable somehow-)

[gassyandnasty]

Since you are writing the backstage series, can you make one of Henry Cavill?

I'd love to see him burping in his fan's face, forcing him to sniff his armpits and butt

Backstage - Henry Cavill

Oh, Henry... needless to say that he is everybody's dream, but he is very hard to find, and those big studios aren't easy to sneak on, but I had my way.

I started to hear that he was having a lot of trouble with the costume department, so they were hiring more people to take care of this problem. When I got into the studio to do an interview, a guy with teary eyes, coughing his way out approached me:

"Are you applying for the costume department?" He said between coughs.

"Yeah...I-" he didn’t let me finish.

"Take this" he handed me his credentials and said, "I can't take this any second if this anymore."

He left while I didn't question all the chaos, after all, I was going to meet Henry Cavill!

I came into his trailer and saw him getting ready to shoot. The guy who ran out of here must have been helping him, since he is standing on a pedestal trying to fit into a spandex suit.

"Might you... help me with this?" Henry requested and I froze. Was I going to finally touch all of that body?

I couldn't resist, I approached and started my amateur service, soon I saw why he needed help, that suit was really tight. His upper body was bare because his suit wouldn't pass his thighs.

"Okay... raise your arms." I commanded and he didnt question. There was no reason for this, only for admiring his hairy pits. They were sweaty from the effort of trying to put this on.

"Uhm... how much am I going to stay in this position?" Henry asked.

"Oh I'm just calculating your measures so I can try to fix..."

"No need, this suit was made for me months ago, but they asked for me to reshoot on MY vacations, I'm not skipping my barbecues and burguers for that."

"Oh... I see..." I signalize for him to put his arms down as I take advantage to measure his chest, and yeah... it was made of STEEL, but just to hide my obvious amusement, I asked:

"And how are you planning to fit in this?"

I heard Henry laughing as he stopped to pat his belly. Indeed, some fat featured his ripped muscles, which made him even more delicious.

"I'm a little bloated, so I'll have to let some out..." when he pat his belly again, it stirred something within, and he ripped a deep and gurgly belch on my face:

OOOOOOoooooooooooooUUUUUUUUUUUU888RRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP!!

It exploded on my face, and smelt like burguers. He ripped with no shame, as his expression changed to relief.

"Aaaahh, I think I'm lighter after this." Henry laughed at my coughing fit. "Try to pull the suit up again.

I was a little shocked, but I crouched down to do what he said, at least I was not in the line of his burps again.

With all my force, I managed to pull his suit past his thighs, and now Im stuck at his ass. I think his cheeks are bigger than my head, soft yet strong, but aren't yielding even a little for the spandex.

"Oh, I wouldn't crouch down over there if I was you buddy! Haha" I could hear henry say from above. As I could feel he grabbing the back of my head even closer to his ass.

PBPBPBPBPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBBBBBBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

He ripped a beast of a fart on my face, making it rumble and jiggle with the force of his cheeks. I fell down into another fit as he was laughing. Somebody came in.

"You are late, and what's that smell? Eww..." I could hear another assistant.

"I'm trying to deflate to fit into the suit" Henry says with a shit-eating grin as he fans behind his ass.

"We dont have time for that, stinky. Just come out that we put cgi all over it. Geez...." they left as I felt light-headed.

CGI? So I didn't have to take those bombs in the face....

[dansformations]

"This is life"

Tags: Male tfs, dumbification, IQ loss, fart kink, burp kink.

"Now this Is life" i said to myself while entering to my apartament. Since i gave that potion to my big brother, im living like a man should.

See, my big brother was always too polite, to strict, like an adult, i Guess he took the dad role since my dad leave us, so even when were just us two, it was like living with an stric dad.

"Dont leave the dirty clothes in the floor" "Dont Belch at the table!" "No marihuana!" "Clean the toilet seat, u gross!"

I was so sick of It. So i check and check in the weirdest places of the internet until i found a site that said that rigthfully could change peoples personality. It looked like a scam... But was worth trying. Just 3 days after a package arrived.

"Only put this oil in a drink, put some scent of the person you wanna 'the turned' be like, and then make sure 'the turned' drink It" - said the handmade intructions.

I put some soda in a glass, the oil and... Why not? I take my undies off and dip it in the drink for half of minute, then just left the wet undies in a corner of the room.

I gave it to my brother saying it was an 'Peace offer', he was surprised, and took it with an smile. First sip. All ok. Second sip. Confused face. Third sip...

- It tastes a little bit fu-UUUUURRRP - his talking turned into a big, deep, belch, he got Blushed - oh, excuse m-EEEEERRP AURRRP- You little fuck! What did You put in my drink!?

- Just something... To relax you

He tried to get up from the couch but when he bend, a Big, rumbly and smelly fart came out from his ass, he was looking shock.

- Good one bro! -told Him.

- Haha i know - he said, then he realiced - wait, what? No! That was gro-UUUUUAAARRRRRRRP - He Belched again- that was a combo! - he laughed

- Exactly! Why don't you finish your drink? Full that Tank of combos, big bro

He looked confused for a moment, like trying to remenber something, but at the end he shrugged and drank the rest of his drink, sealing his new personality.

- The first one is coming lil bro - he said with a lower tone, then he Open his mouth and...- UUUUUUUUUARRRRRRP -lifted his leg and- PFFFFFFRRTRTTTTTFFFRT

We both laugh together, which wasnt usual. Since that day things changed, no more scolding, no more laundry or cleaning, deliveries instead of cooking, gym and no showers, weed and beers everytime we want, burping and farting on the table or any other place, even each other faces. I never tough we could get a long this good... And i Guess we couldnt, my new brother is basically a copy of me, thats why we finally get along but... Who cares?

"Now this Is life" i said to myself while entering with wings for lunch to our messy, smelly apartament, the familiar stench says hi to me and i breath it happily.

- Finally broski, i was hungry so had to eat pizza while waiting - he said

- Still have room for the wings?

He lied on his chair, lifted a leg and rip a a lot of farts out, the stench quickly take over the room, and i just laugh while fan away the stench with my hands.

- Now i do - he said with a smile

Man, this is life.

[kingqueensoobscene]

OMG YOU WRITE FOR LIL POOTIS' SCOUT... this series made me change my opinion on him to Insufferable Boston Boy to Okay He's Kinda Cute Actually™

so um may we get a Lil Pootis Red Scout x gn or fem Reader where Pootis also imprints on reader? like, he sees scout as his mom and reader as his dad (lol)

Scout is so fucking embarrassed when pootis calls them papa and mama the first time (cause he got a big fat crush on reader) but they reassure it's okay and that they dont mind

yadda yadda yadda shenanigans and they end up kissing :3 sorry for the long ask, feel free to ignore it !!

— 🌻 SunFlower anon

AHHHH!! I LOVED THIS REQUEST SO MUCH!!!! I rewatched the entirety of Lil Pootis just to do your idea justice! Enjoy!!

LIL POOTIS!RED!SCOUT X READER WHO BECOMES A PARENT TO LIL POOTIS

-Scout was your buddy. He had always been, ever since you enlisted, you made friends with one of the other young persons at Mann Co. Putting up with someone who was oblivious to most things and had no awareness at all was hard, even harder when you started to think that he was a cute guy, despite being the most annoying person spat out from Massachusetts. Noticing his habits, like putting his hand behind his neck and scratching his neck or noticing that his nose was small and his lips were pouty and things he did for you. 

-He always wanted to seem like a cool guy to everyone, but really? He is a dork. But a cute dork. Even before he got a crush on you, he wanted to help you out. He notices when you got it rough on the field, coming to your room to talk to you or even take you up the road to that one diner. He likes to go to the comic book store or go the park with you and eat snacks and talk until the sun sets. Now why is Scout able to do this still even with his newfound crush on you and without breaking down?

-Well, unlike canon Scout, he is much more calm with his crushes, not by much. He gets very nervous to talk to you every time he has to see you and starts stuttering and doing awkward body movements, however he relaxes.  He knows he doesn’t have to impress you, though he still tries, but you like him the way he is. As a friend, at least that’s what he thinks. 

-It kind of shocked you when he adopted a Pootis pet from the store. As I have said before, he has this “Cool Guy” persona he likes to play.  But he really cares about this little booger, though he was careless at first. As we move ahead, he does change his parenting style to care for Pootis. Though, Scout still had his moments. Pootis and Scout were never really apart when they didn’t have to be.

-Scout always liked having you over. Pootis did too, though for a different reason. Since you were never not around, and as Pootis grew older, he saw your relationship as the ones he had seen on TV or from his Grandma and the Spy. While, you two didn’t kiss or hold each other, which puzzled Pootis, but Scout would jump his eyes away from yours then back again when you made eye contact or scratch his neck again. You would face your full body towards him, mentioning details brought up in past conversation, playing with your hands way too much. You were obviously in love with him. And you, too, did not think Scout liked you back.

-You would play with Pootis, shake his feathers, draw with him. Pootis drew Scout and you holding hands while Pootis was drawn as an orange blob between you. The words Mom and Dad scrawled respectively. Scout would get embarrassed when he sees what’s on the paper you’re holding. Scout has told Pootis that you are not his “Dad”. But Pootis only gets confused. You care for both him and Mama, so how aren’t you? 

-You told Scout you didn’t mind being called “Papa”, even if you happened to identify as a woman or gender less, and Pootis immediately lights up. He immediately opens his arms and squeaks at you. You pick up the little fart and hug him. A sigh of relief escapes the boy. 

-No matter the weather, Scout always took Pootis out to play. You could catch them at the park, in the snow or making mud pies after the rain. Scout tells you there is no obligation to join them, but Pootis makes his lil sad face that makes you feel bad for not wanting too. You would do anything for this bird. Especially as his “Papa”. You played into it too much.

-Scout keeps photographs of the team next to his bed. He has many of you and him together, him and Sniper, him and a drunk Demoman, There is one be managed to get a photograph of a photograph of, that being you holding Pootis while he took the picture next to you, so the copy on the wall is blurry, but the original is kept on him at all times.

-You know how Lil Pootis has a habit of screaming. And do you know of the Psychological term, “Secure Attachment”?  Well, it’s when a child, in an experiment involving the strange situation procedure, is in a room with their parent and a stranger and the parent leaves, leaving the child distressed until the parent comes back and they immediately calm down. It’s like that except that you are babysitting him for Scout and you go to the bathroom, he will do that until you come back. 

-One day, Scout came back from a mission and he heard Pootis squealing from the kitchen and ran to his room. Pootis calmed down when he saw Scout and you came back after washing up. Scout looked at you confused. Then Pootis spilled out a “Mwah!” sound and opened his arms. He wanted a hug from both of you. Scout got rosy. 

-After coming home from the store to have a movie night with Pootis, Scout saw you and Pootis watching an old noir film on the channel before you two would watch Scout’s Dirty Harry cassette. You were mindlessly reading your comic Scout bought you the last time you two went on the beam bag. As he pulled out candies and some seed for Pootis, a squeak came from the little, squishy, orange bird to pointed at the black and white couple kissing passionately. You were confused. Yes, you cute little bird, they’re kissing. Then he paddles up to draw something. It’s a drawing of Scout and you, Mom and Dad respectively, sharing a kiss with a heart between you.

-Scout gets super embarrassed and gently scolds Pootis about how that was inappropriate to ask. But you told him it was fine and that Pootis was simply confused. Pootis imprinted on you, but you weren’t together like normal parents. But, really, Scout wants that. Not for himself, but for Pootis as well.

-The denial in the air that was between you both could be cut with a knife. 

-Feverish skin was hit by sun rays from where you were under the tree. Little shade reached you from the angle of the setting sun in front of you. Little Pootis fell asleep next to Scout with his cap on his head. You could actually see his light-colored hair better. He smelled like a teenage boy, but it was scent that you have grown to associate with him rather than your traumatizing middle school years. You looked over at him, he had his eyes on the water filter, which was currently incapacitated and the yellow and black indicator was set to red. His eyes met yours and he gave a gap toothed smile. You leaned up and scooted closer to him, you could see his dimples. Your hand moved up to his face, slowly, waiting to see if he was ok with you touching him. His light brows furrowed, confused. You had to go for it, even if you regretted it and ruined this friendship. You kissed him. And thank the Lord, he kissed you back. 

[internetscenarios]

I saw your TGC post and I am begging on my knees for some flirty / fluff Isaac or Tanner content 🧎🏻‍♀️

Also side note I’m a such a huge fan of your writing and just the way you lay out your blog ugh LOVE

- 🦕 (idk if this one is taken)

yess absolutely!!!! ill do isaac for now since i haven’t written tgc in a while also tysm!!! 😢🤍 the madoka magica gifs pull it together LOL

also dw 🦕 isn’t taken <3

ill do like flirty pre relationship and in relationship hcs,,,,

isaac

pre-relationship;

♡ definitely says back-handed compliments, then flips it

♡ i think he’s more flirty over text than in person

♡ but he definitely is confident in person, i think he is just more outgoing on text

♡ you know how he acts with all the guys? i think he tames it down a bit with you but is actually more caring if hes doing anything with you

♡ he is constantly doing things for you like it is UNREAL

♡ like let’s say you have a favourite drink, the second you wake up it’s literally at your desk

if you live in group fart house that is heart emoji

♡ you and him just having really long conversations for HOURS.

during-relationship;

♡ the way he asks you out is probably so cute but like. non-chalant

non chalant dreadhead

♡ it’s probably during one of your long conversations you both have, like he just blurts it out

♡ so kind to you!!! you’ll be hanging out with everyone and they are all chatting away and being silly while you two are just sat there quietly talking

♡ if the guys are making fun of you he is literally going out of his way to defend you

“y/n. you freaking smell.”

“NO THEY DONT!!!1!1!1!”

he breaks down into to tears on his knees because he couldn’t believe tanner would SAY SUCH A THING.

♡ hes going out of his way to visit you basically everyday, lets say you live in a house/apartment, he is on his way before your even awake!!

♡ if you live in group fart house i feel like he changes his whole sleep schedule for you..

like this man is working non-stop. checking his twt for updates daily heart emoji

♡ buttt if he knew you wanted to sleep a little earlier than him, hes going to sleep with you.

♡ if u hate being warm in the night… i feel bad for u.. this man will NOT let you go

♡ he either has one arm slung around you, or just fully clinging onto you for dear life

♡ you wake up in the morning feeling like a bajillion suns have just tapped you gently, while he wakes up like a disney princess with his arms stretched and a high pitch yawn

sorry that was a joke heart emoji

♡ PRINCESS TREATMENT. sidewalk rule. literally picking you up and moving you if you’re ever so slightly in his way.

♡ i feel like he spoils you sm as well…

overall.. we all need an isaac in our life..

I HOPE THIS IS OKAY!!! i may or may not do tanner another time but i wanna get some requests done first 🤍

also i might start writing for hasan… if anyone cares heheheheh